I Hate the Way I Look: How to Love the Skin You’re In

Everyone has something about themselves that they probably wish they could change. We’ve “accepted” it, but deep down, we really wish we could change it. I’m talking to you with the big forehead and me with the long neck. I hate the way I have under-eye wrinkles and I’m not even 30 yet. Like why??? It’s made me hate smiling and taking smiling selfies. Ugh, the worst. Hear that? How I’m shaming myself? Over time, society has given us this false and fabricated unrealistic idea of “the perfect woman.”

Skinny, super fit with the “coveted” thigh gap, drinks green juice three times a day, does yoga in the morning and spin class after work, and somehow popped out two babies, yea her – “the perfect woman.”

If you’re like me…you just crave pizza and wings all day wondering why the thing you love the most makes you gain weight.

Personally, I think perfect is something that’s unattainable. Sue me.


What is perfect? Who ACTUALLY defines what the hell perfect is? And finally, who are you to tell me that I’m not perfect because of my gorgeous thunder thighs? I mean… my man loves my thunder thighs. I don’t think he’d want me to have a thigh gap….ever.

The media, and particularly social media, only seem to portray what’s “perfect.” People on social media generally only show you the good. The edited to oblivion photos, the perfect filter, and just the right angle to make them look like they have curves when they really look like Spongebob Squarepants. Seriously.


Us women have to STOP comparing ourselves to what we see. A lot of us struggle with that, ME included. It has become a norm, especially in this day and age. All the IG “models” who have never walked a runway in their life, but because they have “perfect” bodies and “perfect” contoured faces, and “perfect” ass to tit ratio, they’re a model. Chiiiile, please.


If you find yourself comparing yourself to other women, GET THE HELL OFF SOCIAL MEDIA. Society already blasts the ideal perfect women in magazines, ads and commercials around you enough.

Honey, you are beautiful. You are amazing. If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect anybody else to love you? If there is something you want to improve physically, that’s fine. But don’t let society dictate what you’re supposed to look like. You were created to be YOU. If you want to change your eating habits because diabetes run in your family, I applaud that. If you want to start working out to manage your stress levels, then by all means take that kickboxing class and kickass. However, don’t be so focused on how other people think you should look, that you forget to love who YOU are. If you wanna wear makeup because you love doing makeup then okay. I love doing makeup too. But don’t put on makeup because you think it will make others like you more or that you’ll like YOURSELF better because of it. Darling, with or without makeup you’re beautiful. If you need makeup to feel better, it’s time to work on a little thing called self love.


3 Tips To Love the Skin You're In

1. Stop comparing yourself

Chances are whoever you’re looking at hates something about themselves. We are all women. We are all beautiful in our own way and WE ALL HAVE FLAWS. You don’t know what that person went through to achieve what you think is how you should or need to look like. You have to know that about yourself. And why the hell would you wanna look like someone else anyway? I want to look like Kristin Marie Arledge every day of my life.

2. Positive affirmations are a powerful thing

It’s a statement that you tell yourself to avoid self-sabotaging and negative thoughts about yourself. I find the best positive affirmations come through speaking them to myself AND writing them down.

It can be as simple as saying “I am beautiful, I am loved and I know that I have purpose on this earth”. Saying that everyday can instantaneously (big word, hey now) bring you to a place of positive thinking!

Try starting and ending your day with a positive thought.

3. Remember how unique you are

Our bodies are all capable of different things. As women, we can LITERALLY push a child out our vagina and be walking the next day like nothing happened. All women can’t do that. Your body is so unique. You can’t take for granted the body you’re in because there’s someone else who wishes they had legs to walk. I’ve had 2 ACL surgeries and the second time, I couldn’t walk for 3 months. Have you ever walked around crutches on a college campus for that long? It’s a nightmare. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Not being able to walk increased my gratitude for simple things like the use of my legs. In the same breath you talk down to yourself, someone else is hooked up to a ventilator wishing they could talk.


You only get one life. You don’t want to wake up every day and think down on yourself. What’s that going to do for your confidence? Nothing, literally nothing. No matter what you look like, you are in control of your thoughts and you control how you choose to see yourself. And stop caring what people think of you so much. Sometimes, you just gotta throw ‘em the finger and keep on living ya best life, with that Chick Fil-A in tow and DO NOT forget your Chick Fil-A sauce.

Crown adjusted, head up, shoulders back, chest out. Now walk, Queen!

I challenge you to take one week and affirm something you LOVE about yourself every single day, in the morning and before you go to sleep. It can be one thing, or multiple!

Post what you love about yourself below and let me know how your challenge went and how it helped you!


K. Marie


  1. I love that I’m giving, nurturing, and humble. Physically, I love my lips. ❤️ Excellent read.

    1. Author

      and I love my legs! <3

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