Raw Truth: Confident or Coward?

I did something crazy. On January 11, I CUT OFF ALL OF MY HAIR. I finally did it!! Do you KNOW how much courage and confidence it took??? A lot. The best part is that I started my journey over with my husband as the barber. He does cut hair including his own, and cuts well so I entrusted him with my hair and he got to buzzing and cutting. An hour later, I had a shapeup like his and a cold neck. My new hairstyle has gotten much love on Instagram but here’s my raw truth: I’m still scared to wear it out. I still haven’t worn it to Jon’s basketball game or even in the grocery store. I just so easily throw on my wig or a hat.

My husband brought up a raw truth for me that really hit home: How am I so quick to post my new haircut and how much I love it on Instagram, but afraid to wear it out in real life? Man, did that one hurt. I’m sure that rings true for some of you all. We are so quick to showcase our lives or what’s going well on Instagram, but it can be a very false sense of happiness and reality. I wanted everyone else to like my cut, but here I am, too scared to walk out in public without a hat on. I’m worried about all the stares I will get. I already get stared at being here in Latvia but now with NO HAIR??!! Imagine. People have seen my regular hair and my curly wig, but imagine them seeing me with NOTHING. That shouldn’t keep me from showing it off. I went through with this. I had enough strength to cut it all off. Why am I so afraid to wear it out in public? Why am I worried about what other people will think? I need to embrace it and own it. The hair isn’t coming back anytime soon anyway. I need to walk in my new journey. Who cares what people think! His words really did something to me, in a good way. I felt embarrassed almost. It wasn’t hard to put on Instagram. Why is it so hard to actually wear it? I’ve decided that I’m going to wear my hair out to Jon’s game. No more wigs. I’m going to embrace it. No matter how many people stare at me. I’m just going to do it.  I’m not going to be a coward, I’m going to be confident.

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